Be Interesting, but . . .Protective

Head to Head

It seems that, even if men say they want a smarter woman, they’re not so into women who threaten their own intelligence. As  researchers put it,  findings suggest that there are “conditions under which self-protective concerns may trump qualities of partners that seem desirable at a distance.” Translation: Men who blow off intelligent women might just be protecting their fragile masculine egos. “  – Huffington Post


The assumption is since you’re reading this, that you’re an intelligent woman.  Here’s what to do with the above information:  Consider TICKLING HIM UNDER THE CHIN!

Education important? Good one!  It’s part of marriage material. Recognize this high earnings potential  in him, but resist competing with him on any level!  That really doesn’t help you towards you goal of a trip down the aisle!

If he’s conversational with you, LISTEN. . .DO NOT COMPETE.  Create an interesting path that will bring you closer, but protect his ego.  Offering to do a bit of research is a good complement.  It will go a long way to creating a bond.

But you can still reflect his standing with your own “smarts.”  Concur with his opinions, ask questions to learn more about his topic.  Show some emotional warmth to the subject. Take notes.  Send fascinating E-mails.  You’ll make a serious visual impression when you do.   Google a topic to take it further. You can bet he’ll brag to his friends!  He’ll appreciate how smart you are without you telling him so.

Rulers Are Everything

ruler - granny downton abbey

Have you guessed correctly?  It’s actress Maggie Smith playing Lady Violet, the The Dowager Countess of Grantham and also referred to as Lady Grantham or “Granny” on Downton Abbey.  She projects the traits of the Ruler personality in every way imaginable !

It turns out that 13% of the population have Ruler traits, making them a fairly common personality type. You’ll want to have these people on your side. They are helpful and caring.  They are devoted to helping those in need.  Rulers have incredibly strong family ties. . .bringing President Donald Trump to mind.

They make decisions using logic, data, and cold, hard facts and hate to get news second hand and are not especially caring about acting properly in public. When an Ruler lets you into  her world, you’ll gain a new appreciation for her genius. They rank among the most  resourceful people on planet Earth.

Both males and females are caring and helpful. They are devoted to protecting and helping out anyone in need. You’ll discover they have have very strong family ties and are quick to leap to the defense of their family.

They can also be too unassertive and pushovers for those who want to take advantage of them. There is no friend to have like an Ruler.

This is because they have a sensitive, considerate side too. . .especially with close friends. Rulers are  some of the most pensive, attentive listeners you’ll ever find. When you’re ready for it you can trust that they’ll give you honest, objective feedback. Rulers are a treasure to have around.

ruler personality cartoon

 

 

 

The Hero Leaves a Mark

Hero - Mark of Zorro

Simply, The Hero Archetype is a recurring pattern of character, symbol, or issue found in the mythology and religion of all cultures. Swiss analytical psychiatrist, Carl Jung defined his concept of Archetype as a formula that is the result of “countless experiences of our ancestors…the existence of definite forms in the psyche which seem to be present always and everywhere.” ~ ‘The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious, Collected Works.’

The evolution of Archetypes over the past 90 years has grown from Jung’s original 12 to more than 325 subtypes. Humans didn’t “invent” archetypes, but they do express them in the conscious world of art, literature, and religion. Unconscious energies take form as what we call “heroism” in this way.

So, we define The Hero as a trait within ourselves, remembering that the classical collection of The Hero characteristics will include most of the following as they do in Zorro.

Unusual circumstances of birth; sometimes in danger or born into royalty

Leaves family or land and lives with others

An event, sometimes traumatic, leads to adventure or quest

Hero has a special weapon only he can wield

Hero always has supernatural help

The Hero must prove himself many times while on adventure

The Journey and the Traumatic Wound

Hero experiences atonement with the father

The Hero can be male or female, showing the same traits

Motto: Where there’s a will, there’s a way

Core desire: to prove one’s worth through courageous acts

Goal: expert mastery in a way that improves the world

Greatest fear: weakness, vulnerability, being a “chicken”

Strategy: to be as strong and competent as possible

Weakness: arrogance, always needing another battle to fight

Talent: competence and courage

The Hero is also known as: The warrior, crusader, rescuer, superhero, the soldier, dragon slayer, the winner and the team player.

In early 19th century California the masked swordsman hero Zorro was a champion of the people against the tyranny of Spanish rule (Anthony Hopkins / Zorro I).  The ruthless Governor learns  Zorro’s secret identity is Spanish Nobleman, Don Diego de la Vega. The Governor attacks him, leaving him imprisoned, his wife dead and his baby daughter (Catherine Zeta-Jones) abducted to be claimed as his own child.

Twenty years pass, and the Governor develops a plan to bring California under his total control.  Don Diego escapes his long imprisonment and prepares for  revenge. A fantastic tactic involves the training of an orphan to become his successor (Antonio Banderas / Zorro II). Together, the two men engage with the Governor and his American henchman to save California and rescue Don Diego’s kidnapped daughter.  Once again, the enemies of freedom and justice in California fear the man who leaves the mark of the Z.

—Kenneth Chisholm <kchishol@execulink.com>

Hero - Zorro Peasants-3

The Lover Enjoys Boundlessly

lover jeff bridges dude blue b-g

 

The Lover is the archetype of emotion, feeling, idealism, and sensuality. Like the word “lover,” sensuality is often exclusively associated with sex but it inspires broader life application.  To bring Carl Jung’s Archetypes into the 21st Century all you need to do is recognize actor Jeff Bridges (above) in his role as Dude in The Great Lebowski. His character is effectively The Lover at his fullest.  He wants intimacy.  He can’t stand to feel unwanted.

Because the Lover is so alive and sensual, he enjoys all of life’s pleasures, good food and drink, beautiful art, or gorgeous women. This is the archetype that spurs our appetites. But these hungers don’t exist only for  pleasures like sex and food, but for a life of meaning and purpose. In his search to passionately pursue these, the Lover usually sees limits and rules as stifling.

Being sensual means opening up and using all  senses in all areas of your life–touching, tasting, smelling, hearing, and seeing . . .experiencing as many dimensions of life as possible, and as often as possible.

A man who has fully developed the Lover archetype in his life reads people and social cues easily and accurately. He’s empathetic with others and understands how to get along, connecting  with an  array of people. Whatever the Lover is feeling, pain or joy,  he feels it deeply.  He’s a guy who goes overboard!

We can find the Lover archetype in myths and rituals that span culture and time. The Greek god Dionysus presents perhaps the greatest example.  Each Spring a wild festival celebrated Dionysus, the god of wine, merriment, art, passion, and sex.   In our era, “Spring Break” is a healthy dose of this wildness.

 

lover cloud

 

 


QUICK NOTES ON THE LOVER

  • Core desire: intimacy and experience
  • Goal: being in a relationship with the people, work and surroundings they love
  • Greatest fear: being alone, a wallflower, unwanted, unloved
  • Strategy: to become more and more physically and emotionally attractive
  • Weakness: fear of being alone and a desire to please others at risk of losing own identity
  • Talent: passion, gratitude, appreciation, and commitment

 

Caregivers Love People

caregiver

Caregivers approach things according to how they feel about them, or how things fit in into their personal value system. Their secondary modis operandi is to use their five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. A shining example is my Minister who adores using object lessons. Caregivers have a special knack for pulling out the best from others.  They make others feel good about themselves.  They are strongly supportive and dependable.

The photo above is of  Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.  He is the creator and star of “The Titan Games” TV series.  Following his deep personal belief that people have the potential to be the best they can be,  “The Rock”  works with exceptional everyday men and women  to push themselves in extreme tests of strength, endurance and mental fortitude.  “The Titan Games” is currently offered Thursdays on NBC. 

Playing superheroes, military warriors and loving dads on film and starring in the latest Fast and Furious movie, Dwayne Johnson, a former professional wrestler, also made it a life point to care for his mom through stage 3 and 4 lung cancer.

caregiver brain

Caregivers are people persons – they love people. They are warmly interested in them. They use their sensing and characteristics to gather specific information about others, turning it into supportive judgments. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their points of view.  Caregivers themselves have strong desire to be liked and for their worlds to be pleasant.

Caregivers handle their responsibilities very seriously.

They are always thought of highly dependable. They value security and stability. They’re  aware before others of what needs to be done.  Then  make sure that it gets done right. They enjoy these of tasks, and are extremely good at them. Tag a Caregiver for a management position.

Caregivers need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They harbor a strong need to be liked. They are hurt by indifference and don’t understand unkindness. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give.

They’re very sensitive to others, and freely give practical advice, though sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.

These people often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they’re with at the time.  All Caregivers have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure.

At their worst Caregivers should be careful about controling people who do not wish to be controlled.  Think of the bossy nurse!

 

caregiver cartoon

They respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should  as well. They’re traditional, and prefer to do things in  established ways, rather than venturing into unexplored territory. This is due their need for security. And it could cause them to  blindly accept rules without questioning or understanding or to imagine bad intentions where there were’t any.

 At their best, Caregivers are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They seek stable lives that are rich in contacts with friends and family.

 

The Artist Does Not Tolerate Boredom

An Artist Personality, is very open to new ideas.  The right brain functions  are above average.  Generally, others find them aesthetically talented and appreciative.  They rave about great interior decor, make-up, fine art and music. On the down-side, Artists are also very anti-authoritarian.

The way you dress and present yourself may be interpreted as extroverted or introverted. . .depending on what the occasion is. You enjoy being sociable, but like to retreat to a quiet space too.  No, you’re not a loner, you’re an Artist.  Sloppiness is generally a habit.

Life is not likely to be extremely easy for the artist types of people in the world. Because they can tend to take life seriously and they deal with personal criticism and insecurities. Some artist types struggle with depression, anxiety, and addictions.

Artists are up  to taking on stimulating new challenges.  Think of Michael-Angelo when he was deciding to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.  Or how about Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony during the Classical music period?  These were mammoth undertakings. . . like Cher beginning a world tour at age 72.

The Artist  cannot bear boredom.  She is a self-actualizer using touch, smell, sight and taste.  She can visualize something, and when visualized, she sees exactly how to make it happen. She is usually versatile in the extreme.  If she sings, she may also write or draw or cook.

Understand that of all the personality types, Artists are not people manipulators so they won’t be compelling salespeople.  In their world there is a drive to create and express non-verbally, find daily meaning, have independence, personal space and contribute to the things they believe deeply in.

Anthony Bordain may well have been an Artistic Personality.  He made us see the world through his eyes.  He, like his kind, was great at elaborating or filling in the details.  He perceived life differently from the average person.

 

Anthony Bourdain

Tony was unconventional, temperamental, stubborn and cynical.  Like most Artists, questioned the rules.  Remember all the times he ate ANYTHING? He was very versatile and adaptable. He was  was often withdrawn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Innocence at Any Stage

Young Adult Woman - Face in Hands-1

 

Clues to the Innocent  Personality Type jump out with a love of theater, music and make-believe.  We  think of these flashing during childhood.  Innocents can hang on to childlike emotions too. . .displaying goofiness and fits of anger.   Their stubbornness can be a negative problem well unto old age.

If you identify as an Innocent you are distrustful, but when it happens, you’ll fall in love really hard!  Innocents tend to want to give time rather than gifts in love relationships.  It’s what they’d like in return too.  You’re not very demanding and prefer a simplistic sort of lifestyle without a lot of bells and whistles.

You are seen as having rock hard values like honesty and reliability. Toot your horn about this during a job interview. You are cynical, yet hopeful.  This means you are well-balanced at your core.  Others will also note that you are consistently loyal.  You have high cognitive function.  This means you pay attention to your environment for prolonged periods of time. You are highly organized too.  Your sock drawer is rarely a mess.  You are good at keeping track.

On the downside which can be a slippery reality,  Innocents are not good at tending to the emotional needs of others.  Putting this together with the fact that they don’t naturally express their own needs and emotions, life can be hellish.

Money management can be an everyday challenge.  Avoiding conflicts and difficult decisions puts the frosting on this cake of heated anger.  Not finding a remedy for these “weaknesses” could lead to outbursts, breakdowns or  substance abuse.

 

 

Being Sage

You may not be a person who occasionally strokes a beard, but you are naturally entertaining and articulate. You brim with wit and wisdom.  You are well known for being expressive, eloquent,  entertaining, gregarious, flamboyant, attention-seeking, loud, and a motor mouth. You tend to be a perfectionist and won’t roll over for anything but what is right and true.

Well known Sages have included Ronald Reagan, Jim Carrey, Whoopi Goldberg, Miley Cyrus and Madonna.  These folks travel the road of Knowledge during their life’s journey.  They soak it all up and turn it to good use in sharing.

For Sages, Knowledge is the first key to self expression.  What do they talk about?  Sages are never lost for words and carry on with everything they know.  As kids, they’ll always want to know why?  Once they know, they’ll pocket the Knowledge then express it to gratify their love of attention and an audience.  If you love an audience, identify as a Sage.

In beginning your journey, you likely used quotes from others starting with, “Teacher said.” As  Sages mature, the sprouting knowledge becomes jokes, stories or songs. Opinions count big-time too.  All the acquired knowledge is rewrapped to be heard by others.  Grandpa at the dinner table is a good example.  He never shuts up, knows plenty and very much enjoys his audience.  Sages are great communicators.

Sages are often recognized as soon as they open their mouths. Their verbal acuity is high and they love to talk.  When children, they find it easy to gather an audience.

  •  Humorous in their observations, Sages rarely miss an opportunity to tell a joke.
  • Sages may look dramatic in appearance and like to be the center of attention.
  • Did you catch the crazy sweater if the picture above?
  • If you are a Sage personality, you make great efforts to comprehend the world around you and then share it. Think preachers and news commentators.
  • Sages are not always original thinkers, preferring to take ideas from others, add  twist and polish to make them their own.  That’s OK.  There’s not an original idea left!
  • As a Sage, you are wonderful at improvisation.  Your well never runs dry.
  • It’s thrilling to think of all the careers that offer success to Sages.

 

Brand Yourself an Explorer. . .

If you are very aware of your innate love of freedom.  You are in the midst of a personal journey all on your own / by yourself / in relative isolation.  It frustrates you to have someone around who wants to know what you’re doing now and what you’ll do next.  The someone could be a significant other, friend, workmate, spouse or parent.

These people in your life probably perceive you as often remote, closed down and unfriendly.   Don’t think there’s a thing the matter with you.  These folks may be dedicated to caregiving or control and innovation.  Likely they are not like you.  They are not dedicated to freedom.  And you are not wrong.

Explorers usually start their course as young children.  They may not want to hold Mom’s hand when crossing the street.  As adults they enjoy private hobbies, thrive at being along rather than travelling with a group and generally walk to the beat of a different drummer.

You possess an impressive, self-reliant mix of enthusiasm, quick thinking, and ingenuity. that can lead to impressive personal and professional accomplishments. Comfortable with uncertainty and minimally concerned with preparation, these personality types simply adapt and overcome as events present themselves.  For instance, have you waited until the last minute to finish a project, yet scored a big success?

This versatile decisiveness doesn’t mean commitment though.

Explorers enjoy being free of obligations, where they can indulge themselves or their interests on their own time. An Explorer will design and build a dream house, enthralled with the process, but end up procrastinating on simple repairs and mantenance after a few years. You are highly motivated when steering through something interesting, but don’t like being restrained by anything “mandatory.”

Rather than forcing relationships into or out of existence though, Explorers let things flow naturally.  Compatible people simply become a part of their lives often because Explorers are extremely spontaneous.  You likely adapt to your environment with senses of immediacy, fun and passion.  This trait signals great success throughout life.